Shelf Life

Hairy Situations

The story begins when Lia de Beaumont's body washes up on the banks of the Seine, closed inside a coffin marked with the word “Psalms.” A beautiful and beloved woman, her death fuels her brother, D'eon, to embark on a personal quest to uncover the reason for her murder. His findings lead him into conflict with government conspiracies, mysterious religious figures, and Poets who can turn people into zombies gargoyles by controlling their bodies and souls with mercury. Helping him are three other guys who have their own ties to France—and to his sister, who's providing him extra help by using his body as a vessel for her wandering spirit (it helps that she's a wicked good fencer).

While there are elements of the story that make it seem a little silly (zombies? People who attack by writing psalms in...what, the spirit juice that comes from their inner chi?), it works very well in the actual series. The overall atmosphere of the series is crafted so well that these elements don't seem even remotely out of place. With the crisp and aristocratic character designs, and the beautiful (though sometimes a bit jarring) CG-rendered backgrounds, which provide some blindingly gorgeous interiors of the palaces, the story perfectly complements its surroundings. I've written before that some series are classier than others—Le Chevalier D'Eon is one of the classiest, yet most intense, shows released this quarter so far.

What's genuinely fun about this series is its roots in history. Although I'm sure there weren't gargoyle women running amuck in the streets of Paris, D'Eon is based off Charles-Geneviève-Louis-Auguste-André-Timothée Éon de Beaumont (tell me you wouldn't want that name on your passport), a French spy who eventually lived out the latter half of his life as a woman. In fact, that could very well be the influence behind D'Eon turning into Lia. Either way, if you're a history buff or a nut for French architecture, it's a joy watching this series and pointing out all the historical homages and surprisingly accurate backdrops. After watching the first volume, I can't wait to see the rest of this show.[TOP]

1. Some of the lines aren't even close to being properly translated. I don't claim to be anywhere near fluent in Japanese, but I know for a fact that some of the dub dialogue is completely different from the Japanese. (I know this because when there are subtitles when there is 2 minutes of silence… something is a bit off.) This could be understandable if they even bothered putting the proper translation on there, but wait! Where are the subtitles? Oh, that's right! They're just closed-captions of the dub!!
2. Some of the subtitles were very poorly encoded and timed, especially near the end of the first episode. All of the subs would be clumped together on the left side of the screen, showing lines that wouldn't be uttered for another 15 seconds. And by the time they were uttered, the “subtitles,” of course, would no longer be there.
3. No, seriously, dubtitling is not cool.

This is the second Illumitoon disc where I have been extremely unhappy about the disc itself. They didn't bother changing the music this time to make it appeal to kids (perhaps it's different on the edited release?), but they're still not doing any purist fans a favor either by not bothering with giving a proper translation, or even decent dubtitles. So why bother?

Since it is a kids' show, I'd rather Illumitoon just release a dub DVD and market it for kids. Really. Because honestly, how many adults are there who are actually banging on the doors of Best Buy at 9 o'clock, desperate for the next volume of Bo^7? Granted, it probably costs them no money to just stick a Japanese dialogue track on there, but really, why bother? They're just toying with the few people out there who, for whatever reason, did want to collect this show subbed.

In any case, the show itself is kind of hilarious. It's amazing in that kind of Johnny Bravo meets… I don't quite know how to describe it. The hero of the show is Bobobo-Bo-Bo-Bobo, a man whose golden afro and beefy pecs are almost frightening to behold. His secret ability is being able to hear the cries of hair follicles. As such, he is a champion of hair, going as far as to use whip-like nostril and armpit hairs as his main weapons (some of which even come armed with the Boogy Brigade!). His enemy is anyone who doesn't appreciate a full lock of hair, or uses generic-brand conditioner, such as Csar Blady Bald 4th, who wants the entire world to give up their hair.

For the most part, Bo^7 is rather entertaining in short doses. After awhile, the humor gets to be a little old and a bit forced, but it's the kind of show that was made for sleep-deprived TV watching. I don't know that it's worth owning, but it's worth catching an episode or two, just for giggles.[TOP]

In 1614, it comes to the Shogun's attention that there are still two shinobi clans living in hidden villages in the mountains. It's only a peace agreement that's preventing them from attacking each other. However, with their volatile existence and hatred for each other, the Shogun decides that the best way to maintain overall peace in Japan is to make sure these two clans are obliterated. He annuls the agreement, asking the two villages to fight to the death. At the center of it are two lovers, each from opposing sides, caught in a tragic relationship that can't possibly have a happy ending.

What follows is an hour and a half of breezy fight sequences involving swanky (albeit oftentimes cheesy) special effects, crane shots, and man with too much mousse in his hair. Overall, it's not a bad movie—if you're expecting it to be a live adaptation of Basilisk. If I saw this at a film festival, I'd be less inclined to enjoy it, with its rushed and somewhat muddy ending, but it's well directed and definitely has its finer points.[TOP]

If I may interject briefly—if you only buy a few Naruto boxsets in your entire life, you should buy this one and maybe the one after it. This stretch of episodes is seriously where all the fun happens. For the first time, character development finally starts rolling out a bit beyond just feeble flashbacks and silly internal monologue. Now that all the Leaf kids have some enemies nipping at their hind heels, it's prime time to kick back and enjoy the action as they learn to find who they are and what they're capable of. These are some of the best episodes of Naruto to date, so don't miss your chance to stick ‘em on your shelf for old times' sake.[TOP]

One of my favorite scenes is a moment where she muses over the relationship she has with her mother. Anyone who has ever felt pressured by their parents to do well in school, or felt as though they were being compared to their siblings, will likely identify with this scene. It's just one of the examples of moments in the series when you realize that its charm lies in bringing human conflicts to life. Playing out more like a primetime drama than anything else, Paradise Kiss is a truly good series.[TOP]