This Week in Anime

Kandagawa Jet Girls is Full-Frontal Jet Ski Nonsense

Nick
It's a hard life being a fanservice anime girl. Breezes constantly lifting up your skirt that's two sizes too small. Random beams of light flashing over your nipples every time you take a shower. And then the sacks of jello you keep strapped to your chest gain sentience and start trying to escape.

If nothing else, I expect creative tiddy physics from the producers of Senran Kagura.

I prefer to think of Hiraku Kaneko as the Tsuredure Children director but there's no denying his larger pedigree is more relevant here. But yes, today we dive headfirst into the wet 'n wild world of Kandagawa Jet Girls, this season's designated TnA show. And boy does it like both its T and A.

The setup is about what you'd expect when hearing "From the Producers of Senran Kagura" in that it's an outlandishly silly excuse to see anime girls bounce their chests off each other, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't having fun with this whole thing.

I appreciate the honesty. And if nothing else Jet Girls' made-up fanservice sport is more interesting to watch than Keijo's knock-off Dead or Alive X-Treme Beach Volleyball nonsense.

And not just any jet skis, suped-up futuristic racing jet skis with LASER TAG.

It strikes a similar tone to last year's Harukana Receive, in that for as much as it enjoys its cheesecake, the characters within the show take their sport seriously. These are actual races that take skill and teamwork, that just happen to facilitate a lot of tracking shots up the girls' cleavage. It's also similar in that it uses its pair-based sport to fire out as much yuri subtext as possible.

Ah yes, the traditional Feudal Lord and her handmaiden.

Oh, the show's still trashy as all get out, but there are nuances to how one can make trash, and so far Jet Girls has reliably erred on the side of brainless fun without ever feeling too gross. Like I was honestly shocked that, after introducing a mechanic where racers' wet suits automatically fly off after they get shot, that we didn't have a lengthy scene of Misa blushing and getting flustered over it.

She gets upset over being hit, but outside of an obligatory wedgie shot it's not lingered on and her reaction isn't played up for titillation the way other shows like it might have.

It's nonsense for sure. But I didn't come out of this show feeling like I needed to take a shower and that's gotta count for something.

But any good (or bad) fanservice show has to survive off its characters, and I appreciate the sheer variety of anime boobs Jet Girls manages to deliver.

I'd say those probably cause some serious drag during races but with the average bust size in this show let's be real, they're all drag.

They're just too powerful to be contained.

Then there's our main duo, Misa and Rin, who are definitely the most vanilla of the teams—I suspect so they can be easily put in different unlockable outfits in the eventual video game.

Rin is your pretty typical genki sports show lead, but she and Misa have a pretty solid dynamic. It helps that while Misa is a loner, she's not actively hostile or dismissive. She only takes a little bit of prodding to pick up jet racing again, and very quickly shifts from avoiding Rin to awkwardly trying to take her on a date.

Who could have expected Rin to get kidnapped by a pair of traveling weeaboos?

Now now, they have names. Terrible names.

Totally standard, run of the mill names here in America, where they're definitely both totally from. You can tell because they speak in weird, stilted Japanese like they just finished course 2 on Duolingo.

Either way I'd say their gimmick is my least favorite of the teams we've seen. Even if all we've gotten out of the Gyaru and Idol teams is some heavy petting to spice up the color commentary.

I have to admire the audacity of picking somebody who plays the sport to be the character who gets all the intricacies of of said made up sport explained to them for the audience's benefit. Eyeshield 21 would have been infinitely better if John Madden had been on the sidelines every episode so a Japanese teenager could tell him what a forward pass is.

It also, as it's wont to do, decides to spice up the explanation with a whole bucket of innuendo.


This, by the way, is all to explain why Emily Orange throws away her water bazooka after it's out of ammo.

Having, much to my shame, seen the uncensored version of episode four, I can confirm the ass lens flares are there just there to obscure their wedgies. A shame because that'd be a hell of a diegetic skill to blind your opponent.

Dammit, I'm trying to boost my jet ski to catch up with our American ninja rivals, but they're dummy thicc and the clap of their ass cheeks is searing my retinas!

Anyway, the races themselves aren't super impressive, but they do their job both for keeping the pace snappy and delivering the fanservice 99% of the audience came for in the first place. Though by episode four the animation has really started to nosedive. And with a recap episode just 1/3 into the season I suspect that trend will continue.

It can even be pretty well directed sometimes. Like this moment when Misa decides to reach out to Rin about going on a date with her, accentuated by a shot of her stepping out of the shadows she's hidden herself in.

Look if Makoto Shinkai can get lauded for doing it in The Garden of Words I think we should give Jet Girls the same treatment.

And I think that's a good summation of KJG as a whole. It's silly and horny, but it knows what it is and goes for it. Shows like this are never gonna be what I look for first in entertainment, but I can appreciate a boob show made in mostly good fun when I see it.

If you're looking for a sleazy way to spend time, it's one of the better choices this season. Though as always, you may want to save up for those Blu-rays. Or maybe you're into white mist. Who am I to judge?

Whatever you're into, just try to enjoy it responsibly.